Strippers vs. Werewolves (2012)

Strippers vs. WerewolvesThis movie has some familiar faces, Robert Englund (Freddy Krueger in Nightmare On Elm Street, the OG ones, not the new one) Lysette Anthony (Dracula Dead and Loving It) and Lucy Pinder (pretty much in any British magazine ever, she's super hot). This movie has strippers (so there is female nudity, yay) and werewolves. While it takes a while to build up to the climax in the third act which is a bit of a letdown, this movie is sometimes goofy albeit dumb. Since it doesn't take itself too serious, I think this movie helps add to the new sub-genre of Strippers vs. (insert supernatural monster here) none of which should be put under too much scrutiny as they are campy and crappy on purpose. It does look sharp on Blu-Ray which is a plus.

After liking and enjoying both Zombie Strippers and Zombies vs. Strippers, I expected the same kind of entertainment value from Strippers vs. Werewolves. Boy, was I disappointed. The only cool thing about Strippers vs. Werewolves is its title. The nudity is minimal, the werewolf makeup is horrible, and the action is almost non-existant. Even the cameo from Robert Englund is dull. There are much better movies about strippers and much better movies about werewolves than this, so see those instead.

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Okay, I know what you're thinking. Strippers? Werewolves? Really? You must be crazy! Yes, as a matter of fact, I am kind of crazy--crazy in love! For reals, folks. This is no laughing matter. Actually, that's not true because there's quite a bit of elicited laughter when you watch a bunch of scantily clad pole dancers blow away a pack of hairy man-beasts. But in all seriousness, this movie was one of those special rarities that caught me by surprise with how legitimately entertaining it was. Remember that time I rated a book on the awesomely bad scale? Yeah, Strippers vs Werewolves is kinda like that. It's one of those rare gems that's so terrible; it becomes, in fact, awesome. Look, don't try to fight it. It's science, people.

Let me just preface the rest of this review by noting that over Thanksgiving, I was super ill. Thusly, I spent the bulk of my holiday bed-ridden and in a Nyquil/Benadryl induced haze, instantly rendering Neflix my new BFF. And being in such a drugged stupor, things like Strippers vs Werewolves starts to sound like a really good idea. And much to my Kleenex-loving delight, it was! Just know that going in, it's better to eliminate any expectations and take the movie at face value because, c'mon, the plot revolves around strippers and werewolves. Hey! They're English strippers! Naturally they're a step above their American counterparts because anyone with an English accent is, by default, classier. Anyway, the plot is as the title describes--strippers versus werewolves. More specifically, a stripper accidentally murders a werewolf so his pack decides to deliver swift justice upon them all. Only they didn't gamble on the fact that one of the stripper's boyfriends is a Van Helsing of sorts and he equips our busty ladies with some serious firepower to fight back. And you better believe they fight back in the most epic and half-naked of ways.

It quickly becomes clear that director, Jonathan Glendening, knew exactly what he was doing. This movie is purposefully over-the-top, ridiculous and yet still frequently funny. The cheese factor is high but that's what endears it to my heart even more. I especially appreciated the references to the 80's classic, The Monster Squad, which was very unexpected. And for those of you with a keen eye, you'll notice an homage to other cult horror movies in there as well, which is totally cool. But, by far, the best thing about it was the cameos. I am a HUGE movie freak so when I see appearances by Robert Englund (aka Freddy Kreuger), Alan Ford (Snatch) and Lysette Anthony (Dracula: Dead and Loving It), I get really excited. Like, irrationally so. And while some may fault Glendening for his choice of old school make-up effects, this is where I give him applause. Traditional monster make-up is a dying art, one that I can still appreciate more than the overly-used, cartoonish CGI we usually see in B-list horror. Of course, the movie isn't without fault either. I think Glendening was trying too hard at times for that `artsy' sort of feeling with all the jump cuts and slow-motion, but it is what it is. Overall, it surprisingly hit the mark and exceeded my low-brow expectations. And when you're sick, you can't ask for much more than that!

Food for Thought: Strippers vs Werewolves is definitely not going to win the Oscar, like ever, but it certainly maintains merit in terms of entertainment value. A comedy masked as horror, it's somewhat crass, campy and a bit fun! This movie is a crowd pleaser for those of you who can get down with movies that don't take themselves too seriously. If anything, it's fun to watch for the cameos, alone. FYI: being completely doped up on Nyquil doesn't hurt either!

Rating: 3.5 Stars

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About 45 minutes in I was starting to almost want to fall asleep & I only started watching it at 5:00. That's not good at all. Once Robert Englund showed up the movie got better. It seems like they only had maybe ½ an hours worth of decent material & stretched that out to 90 minutes. I actually did like the ending. The Werewolves were plain disappointing looking. Think Hugh Jackman as Wolverine only a little messier with fangs. I say it's a rental at best. Strippers vs. Zombies was no prize movie but it has this beat.

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Someone tried really hard to make this movie. They put serious effort into the acting, the script, the camera work. But in the end, it doesn't really work. I'm afraid to label this movie a failure though. Someone worked hard at this. I worry that if I label this movie as a failure that I'll have just given up. Maybe there is something awesome here and I missed it.

In the meantime, don't spend a lot of money on it. Don't expect to laugh a lot. I'm mostly just confused.

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