Someone's Knocking at the Door (2010)

This just isn't fair. There are certain parameters, guidelines, preconceived notions, or understood rules that any sensible polite filmmaker should adhere to. Psycho stud director Chad Ferrin (Easter Bunny Kill! Kill!) goes on a bareback'n mental rampage by violating both eye sockets and pummeling your ear canal with this disgustingly bizarre nightmare of a film, Someone's Knocking at the Door. For all you cute kids that enjoyed Zombieland or Shaun of the Dead, I'd think twice before you come walking in this neighborhood. For all you so-called seasoned gorehounds, go ahead and answer the door but be prepared to mentally grab your ankles.

Follow, if you dare, the drug-induced delirium of a group of med students that cross the line of reality and have their equilibrium shattered into tiny little worthless pieces. They all become targets for a couple of deranged serial rapists/murderers that somehow have returned from the 70's. Time to party, and it's BYOB (Bring Your Own Blood).

WARNING--Being horrificly raped to death is no way to go.

Someone's Knocking at the Door is a grindhouse throwback, a surreal headtrip that sets new standards for cinematic psychosis. It's one brutal, dirty, mind-infesting pathogen transferring sick elements of dark comedy, sex, flesh, blood, gore, super schlong nightmarish profanity insanity deep inside your vulnerable little wacked-out brains. Be careful.

It's funny cause it's true.

When I bought this film there was only two existing reviews, and both of those reviewers had rated it 5 stars and where raving about it. I thought that maybe this might be a modern exploitation gem. A day or so after I had already purchased the feature online I noticed that the 5 star rating that it once had, had suddenly and dramatically dropped sharply. Now there was four reviews about this film, only now these next two reviewers where rating it 1 star and warning people to stay away from it, while calling it a peice of dreck. If only I had waited an extra day or two, then I might of done the smart thing and researched this film a bit further before I committed to buying it. Still, it is pretty funny when you make a mistake of this kind in which there is a lesson to be learned about being too impulsive. Now I found myself stuck waiting for this product to arrive on my doorstep just to see which set of reviewers where going to be right. I guess at the very least, there was still some hope remaining at this point.

Well, I'm very sad to report to you, that all that remaining hope had melted away like a glob of icecream in a hot gutter, once the DVD did arrive, and I put it in the tray and pushed play.

What I will never understand about modern low budget exploitation movie makers is their complete utter lack of common sense. It just seems so obvious to me that if you want to make an exploitation film that actually works, and you don't have much of a budget or a professional production team backing you up, then you need to keep the story as concise and simple as possible. Some zany screw ball idea about some duel sexed wacky door to door demon with a huge wee wee that rapes MEN in the rear end over a pop song sound track, is only good for pointing your finger at and teasing. Worse still, is the waiting in between these corny assaults. It is then that you are stuck listening to the banter of a pack of unlikable next victim idiots who can't act, and are reading the dialogue of a person who can't write. This film doesn't fallow a blue print for success, it only fallows a blue print to expose every single weakness of its amateur production team.

Shades of Evil Dead and The Shining. No shades of glory.

Basically you have these young med students who horse play with a bad drug and this evil arcane taped hypnosis session that one of them had found in some corner of the med school warehouse. This taped session is like the translation tapes in Evil Dead that invoke demons when you play it. In this case, a mad doctor seemed to have accidentally conjured up Satan and got two of his patients, ( a man and a women ) possessed in the process. At least I think they where patients of his, they sure looked crazy, but it's hard to tell. My mind body and soul where already checked out of this stink bomb by this point. So now, after this arcane taped session gets played, this door to door silly Satan shows up as a naked chick and starts to make out with one of the unlikable male next victim idiots who can't act, and then like the pretty naked woman in room 239 of The Shining who before your eyes, turns into an old fossil covered in pizza cheese, our silly Satan turns into the male mental patient from the said arcane evil tape session, only now he is sporting a giant rubber willy. So, as the silly Satan attacks and chases people down freshly mopped hallways, the director plays one of his personal favorite pop songs as the back ground soundtrack rather then something that would of been actually menacing to back up the action. That's it in a nut shell, that's the high jinks you will be getting if you buy this DVD. A man raping another man like it is some prison shower scene. It's like falling asleep and waking up a moment later only to find yourself in the pokey.

The question is, now that I own this DVD, what do I use if for. I sure as heck won't be watching it again. I suppose if I find a short leg on a piece of furnature in my house, I can use this DVD to prop it up and even it out. Then again, this DVD is so absolutely wretched that maybe I should just break out the saw and get it over with by shorting a leg on something myself. I can always do what I did with the Sick Girl DVD that I wanted to get rid of last year, and stuff it into one of my coworkers stockings at Christmas time. The problem with that idea is, is that I don't know anyone who's been naughty enough all year round to deserve having to sit through this monstrosity. Maybe I will take the title of this DVD to heart, and turn it into a ninja star just in case someone creepy ends up knocking on my door. All I can tell you is that if you want to see a low budget oddity that is actually a good watch, then get a copy of Evil Aliens. And if you want to get a modern grizzly low budget exploitation shocker that doesn't mess around and delivers the goods, then find yourself the South American gem I'll Never Die Alone. If you do anything else in life, stay clear of this loser, it's not worth the price of the disc that it's printed on.

This has been a Krakatoa 1883 public service announcement.

Buy Someone's Knocking at the Door (2010) Now

I gave this one 2/5 because it does have some original ideas, otherwise I would have given it lower. The movie has a great idea going...it's just not implemented well...or should I say, in a horror fashion. I know a lot of people in reviews like to say "the ideas weren't implemented well" but that's really the only thing I could think. Bulbous, protruding phallus members belonging to homicidal maniacs? Bring it on, I said. Unfortunately, this one has the vulgarity and nudity typical to most of my favorite horror movies, but not enough gore and too many alterations to make the reader try to feel the effects of whatever drugs these kids were on. So, while the film didn't "bring it on," per se, it'll definitely be one I'll be thinking about in the near future...so I'll know what to avoid.

Read Best Reviews of Someone's Knocking at the Door (2010) Here

Its funny just beacuase a director puts out a film that everyone in the genre loves (Easter bunny kill kill) then they think all of a sudden the guys a genius and everything he does is gold, I thought easter bunny was ok but it wasnt great, and it sickens me that directors like this get so much praise, i mean this movies about a mutated penis creature that haunts dreams it has no class, you may like this movie if you like penis..? but as a horror fan raised on Vincent price ect id appreciate that if someone is to be praised i dont have to see monster peninses in their films..This is John waters class.

Want Someone's Knocking at the Door (2010) Discount?

This falls into the "rubber reality" category which I tend to like. "The Machinist", "The Jacket" and "Stay" are amongst my favorite movies, but this outing is terrible. It is one of the ugliest, most stupid, most mean spirited movies I've ever seen. Had it clocked in at one second more than its 78 minute running time I might have ended up sticking knitting needles through my eyes.

The story revolves around a close knit group of college students. All but one takes a particular drug used in some infamous psychology experiment that went south. Weird things happen and people start dieing.

This is gruesome and depraved. These are some of the most unlikeable people I've ever seen in film. Why would anyone want to watch a movie where only one character is even mildly likable. They are almost all terrible actors as well. The one actor playing Sebastian is the best of the bunch but he's such a disgusting individual I didn't care. And then there's Vernon Wells. He was one of the chief bad guys in "Road Warrior". Now, when he's your "draw" name in a movie, and you can only afford him for two scenes, you know you're in deep kimchi.

Unless you're an extreme masochist I wouldn't bother with this one.

Save 45% Off